eat sleep and farm

Dear Ethan, Rachel and Kara ~  A lot has changed in the past 5 weeks. We have a new family member in our home. He's kind of changed up what little routine we had set in place before his birth and now, we've accepted sweet chaos as our new normal. And we're loving it. You three have gone through lots of changes in the past year. I do my best to remember that, on days when it seems you're all struggling in different ways. Every once in a while it hits me when one of you says something that gives me a glimpse into your heart. Like when Ethan is holding Miles and talks quietly about the babies we lost before him, or when Rachel asks if I'm sad to not be living near Nana anymore, or when Kara asks if I'm sad not to have a baby in my tummy anymore. Its good for me to remember that these changes haven't just affected me. You all amaze me with how well you love your new brother. I love to watch you take care of him and hear the sweet conversations you have wi

I realized something the other day and thought I'd share. Just a short, funny story. I like to pretend you {the reader} and me are sitting in my living room chatting :) oh, but before I tell the story, I {of course} have to share  this cutie picture I took last night.  Alright, fine...  and this one too :)  Mr. Miles is 5 weeks old today!  The other day I went out to the store and brought Rachel, Kara and Miles with me. Ethan was at a Mariners game with Jason and so it was just the 4 of us. It dawned on me as I was driving how funny it is how quickly life and your perspective can change. Miles was born 5 weeks ago, today. Six weeks ago I would've been all giddy to run to the store with just the girls. I would've said "wow! shopping with just 2 kids - how fun!" But on this trip, only five weeks later, I'm giddy to be shopping with only three kids. It was just funny to me when I realized how quickly we adjust and forget what was before.

I cannot believe its been a whole month since Miles was born! In some ways I can't remember life without him and then in some ways, I feel like its still so amazing he's here with us. He's getting big, fast . Makes me sad and happy at the same time. Its exciting to see him grow and be so healthy - just sad to see those newborn days flee away so quickly. We were at the Dr. today and he's gained 2 1/2 pounds in the past 2 weeks! He recently grew out of newborn clothes and isn't fitting into some of his 0-3 month clothing. I had to get the bin of 3 month clothing out yesterday and realized he's pretty much in that size now. Amazing... He's a champion nurser. Still nursing pretty frequently at night, but with the nursing issues I've had in the past, I don't really mind him waking me up often. I think for me, it helps keep the milk production steady. As long as I go to bed at a decent hour, I actually like the feedings in quiet solitude with ju

We had a lot of fun visiting a few parks last week and going for some walks  around our neighborhood. A few days were a bit too warm for comfort  {I also happen to NOT be fitting into any of my shorts yet}  so on this particular day, we ventured to a park by the lake,  in the hopes that would make it a cooler visit :)      At first I thought they were looking at the lake... then I saw the ducks!    The Mommy duck was hissing at us when we tried to get close, so we kept our distance.     I explained to the kids that she's just protecting her babies and Rachel said, "oh! like how you get mad at strangers when they  try to touch Miles on his face or get too close to him without asking?"  Yes... exactly :)   the kids relaxed at the water's edge while I used a bench and nursed Miles.  It was such a beautiful day. 

I'm going to do an actual update when he hits 1 month old, on the 21st.  But I wanted to share the picture I took this morning, as he hit 4 weeks old. I kept trying to get him to look at me, but the trees out our window  were far more entertaining than Mommy ;-)  

Please slow down! I feel like the days are passing too quickly and you're growing and maturing too fast. I get excited when you do something new {mostly because watching the excitement your siblings go through is way too much fun to pass up} but at the same time I feel like its all too soon. I need you to stay newborn for like a year. Just so I can really feel like I've soaked up these days as much as I could.  listening to me talk to you. and whatever I said, you liked it...  first really big smile I got out of you :)  *You have quite the personality. You make a million facial expressions in the span of 5 minutes and each one is hysterical. I did catch you smiling quite a bit the other day and got completely stoked, only to realize you were actually working on a mess in your diaper. Just as I told myself you were actually grinning at me, I heard the explosion and didn't feel so special. *You have a love/hate relationship with the paci {just like Ethan did

but sat down to watch/listen to it today. Do yourself a favor and take the few minutes it will take and watch this video.  Amazing. Deep. Beautiful ... and truly a clear picture of my relationship with Christ.  He's chosen to love me. He wasn't forced. But I am nothing without Him; I need Him every second of my life. He gives me strength, hope and joy. And loved me long before I loved Him.  What a beautiful story and a beautiful example of what marriage is all about.  Click here to watch. 

Hey, we haven't chatted in a while. Or, rather, I've not rambled at you in a while ;-) I don't have anything specific to talk about, just thought I'd poke my head in for a bit and say hi. I wish I had some grand subjects to go on and on about, but I don't. The more I feel like I have something to share/teach, the quicker God shows me that I don't. Listening and learning is still front and center for me. I'd love to share with you all the tricks on raising 4 kids {as if I know that yet} and I'd love to give you secrets on how to get amazing, home cooked meals on the table every night, while keeping your home amazingly clean and your children all neat and well behaved. If you ever see this in one place, just know one thing for certain - you are NOT at my house. I wanted to high five my husband last night when we got all 4 kids bathed and in bed by 9pm. Felt like such a victory. Then I realized how much I've lowered my standards over the years ;-) J

... because I'm too pooped to write much or actually sound very coherent.  Its been a full, busy week, but a good one.  I got my back/neck adjusted {why have I never done that post labor?!} The kids and I have run a couple errands together, sans Daddy, and every errand run was complete with well behaved, helpful kids - reminding me of two things: God is very good and I love my kids. School went well this week. Rachel did ask if holding Miles counts as a school subject. I had to give her credit for trying ;-) Enjoy the pictures. Have a great weekend!     a shot of our backyard tree in full bloom.  Kara at our friend's fishing derby on Saturday.  Kids had a blast learning how to fish  and Kara mostly just loved putting her feet in the lake.  I enjoyed relaxing with Miles and enjoying the beautiful view.  Such a fun day!  this is how Miles enjoyed the derby :)  he loves the Moby wrap.  someone got his first real bath!!  peaceful

Every time I nurse Miles and look into his cute little face, I can't help but wander back a year in my mind. Wander back to a month that was filled with so much sadness and grief and a month that was all about starting over, like it or not. I look at Miles and realize that in one year's time, we're in this beautiful place that God has brought us. Celebrating our new little boy. Getting all googly'eyed {is that a word?} over his every facial expression and each new sound he makes. I am so amazed at God's creation, but lately, I'm feeling overwhelmingly amazed at His perfect will. The way He lays things out and plans each step. The fact that he doesn't only know what tomorrow holds, He's already there, IN tomorrow. Its not like He just sees the future. He's in it. How reassuring is that for you?! It forces me to stop and chill and be thankful for today and remember I don't need to panic because His planning is perfection . Even when I comple