10.06.2007

Good times...

This has been a pretty busy weekend, but packed full of just really good stuff. Friday night Jase had another softball game, of which I had to miss, but I heard I didn't miss much, since they lost 14-4. :( I teased Jase and said "You have to let them win ONE!"

I went to my friend Haley's house for a tape series on Biblical Discipline and raising our children God's way. It was... excellent, to say the least. We heard the 1st session on Friday night, followed by some good discussion and then we all met back at her house this morning for sessions 2 and 3, followed by discussion and then a time of prayer. It was the best tape series (on that subject) that I've ever heard. I've been talking Jason's ear off ever since. :)
He and I refuse to give into Ethan and Rachel's sinful behavior and we for sure don't want to adopt the world's views of renaming sin and calling it something cuter; lying is lying... not "fibbing". Rude is rude... not "tired and cranky", etc...
Its so easy to miss the part about it not being a behavioral issue and it really being an issue of the soul/heart.

Example: Ethan and Rachel are fighting over a toy, screaming at each other "I had it first!" It isn't an issue of "who had it first?" Its really what's at the heart of this issue? They both are being selfish and willing to take the happiness of the other way, to please themselves. Obviously you want to get down to who did have it first and then train both of them to be kind and loving. We learn in 1 Corinthians 13 that "Love is patient, love is kind, Love is not rude..." so we teach them to wait patiently for the other sibling to be done with the toy and then they can play with it; taking turns and putting the other siblings interest above their own.
I sat there today thinking, not only will we be training them toward godliness and how to be a respectful, loving and kind person in society, but imagine the training we give them for their marriage! Always putting the other person first and asking yourself "What does God think when He sees these actions, words, motives, thoughts, etc...?"

In many ways Jason and I feel like we're starting over with some new approaches, because what we've been doing just isn't God's way and we know he's not going to bless our "efforts" if they're done in vain.
I cannot lose my head, sanity, temper and my children's heart. I can't allow my kids to rule my marriage, my home, decisions we make, determine how many children we have because I'm so stressed with the current kids running things that I can't handle anymore.

The tape series walked us through some Biblical examples of how we can train them up in God's way, doing what God has commanded us to do, but leaving the saving of their souls to Him.
AND! You'd be surprised to know it wasn't all about spanking! She didn't even touch on spanking until the 3rd session. I will say here though, she did comment that its one of the most important things (if done right) because its God's command. All the other little methods we decide will work better for our special child is just another way we're telling God "your way is nice, but ours is better." I can say all of this here, because its ALL stuff I've fallen into thinking. :-\
I liked her approach to also not making "little pharisees" out of our children, by giving them little things to know they need to say to get out of trouble; "yes Mom, I'm sorry, OK" etc... Just because its on their lips doesn't mean its in their heart.

Tonight about 5 of my girlfriends from church and I went to the Benihanas in Walnut Creek for my friend Jen Dulkevich's 30th birthday party (happy birthday, Jen!) and we had a blast. We really had the time of our lives. I ordered my favorite, Hibachi Steak and then got a yummy strawberry banana smoothie afterward. **YUM**
After dinner we came back to Brentwood and had fun just sitting around talking, laughing and enjoying the time alone, with no kids. :) Baby Cameron came along (of course) and I had so much fun holding him. What's more wonderful than holding a tiny 3 week old baby?

Tomorrow is Jen's baby shower for little Cameron and I've still got some more setting up and planning to do for that, so I'd better scoot.
Love to you all!

10 {comments}:

Stef said...

I know, I know... I write the longest posts! If you made it through this one... congrats. You're a pro and a good friend. :)

Erin said...

Stef,
How intresting - to be the first commentor on your post! Ha!
Who does the discipline series you just hear?

laura said...

I was wondering the same...who's the author of that series? :-)

Stef said...

Ginger Plowman of Preparing the Way Ministries www.gingerplowman.com

Enjoy!

jillyco said...

Ginger Plowman...that sounds familiar. I think I have read a book by her. Hmm...sounds good though!

Stef said...

She takes a lot of her info and techniques from Ted Tripp's Shepherding a Child's Heart series.
I can say, only a week later... we're seeing huge improvements in Ethan, me and Jase as well! :)

jillyco said...

Aha! I know what book I have of Ginger Plowman's! It's called Heaven at Home, and very good! Talks about keeping peace in the family and dealing with conflict etc.

Stef said...

She also has a book called "before I count to 3" or something like that. I'm borrowing a bunch of her stuff from Renee, so Jase and I can listen/watch together.

Stef said...

She takes a lot of her info and techniques from Ted Tripp's Shepherding a Child's Heart series.
I can say, only a week later... we're seeing huge improvements in Ethan, me and Jase as well! :)

Erin said...

Stef,
How intresting - to be the first commentor on your post! Ha!
Who does the discipline series you just hear?

 

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