Fine, I'll blog about it

Some of you have heard my "bra story" and some of you have not. I can't believe I'm doing this, but then again... I don't mind looking like an idiot. Those of you who I've shared this with keep telling me "you have to post about this on your website!" and so... here I am, humbling myself just for you. :) 

 A few weeks ago Jason and I went to Walnut Creek for the day, to celebrate alone time for our anniversary. While we were there, my sweet husband reminded me that I needed some new bras, so we ventured over to Victoria's Secret and started shopping. 
I have never, ever liked bra shopping (and soon you'll find out why) and have always thought it was an horrid task, made to make all women feel like their body shapes were impossible to fit and eventually drive you so mad, you finally settle for some outrageously priced bra that shapes your oddly shaped body so no one will no what you look like underneath it all. Yes... I go through much pain when I shop for bras. 

On this particular day, I decided to throw a fit in the dressing room, telling the woman that worked at VS how awful their bras were and how I could NEVER find the right fit for my chest. 
She kind of looked at my like "oh brother... another hormonal pregnant one." So she asked me what the problem was. I told her that I've gotten to where I either have to where a 40 DD or squeeze my poor boobs into a very uncomfortable 38 D, which is what I've been told my size is. 
I told her that even when I get the big, big sizes, I'm still feeling like the cup is way too large, but the back is still not fitting quite right; often times riding up my back and when I'm pregnant, it feels like its cutting off my blood circulation. 
So she offered to measure me... what a novel idea. I've been measured millions of times, so I agreed, but knew it wouldn't do any good. She laughs and says "why on earth are you wearing a 40 DD?!" She tells me that my size is 34/C and because I'm pregnant, she advises that I get a 36/C, so that I have room to grow. I thanked her, but inside I'm thinking "yeah right, lady. you need to go back to measuring school." 

As I'm entering the dressing room, she stops me and says "how would you feel about me coming into your dressing room once you have it on and I can take a look at it?" I reply that its all fine and dandy with me. I'll do anything to get these bras working right. 
I put the bra on and feeling quite justified to show her how WRONG she is about my size, I call her into the room. She looks at me and says "Oh, you're right! This is way too tight on you." 
HA! I knew I was right. I admit I enjoyed feeling quite smug and proud of myself, until she said the following....
"Oh, here, let me try to loosen these and see if it helps." She does something to the back straps and instantly (instantly!) I can breath and the bra fits beautifully. I was stunned. So, thinking she had some magical tool or something I said "wait, what did you do?!" so she tells me that she loosened the bra straps in the back. "How?!" I ask, quite bewildered. She looks at me with this weird look on her face and says "by making the bra straps looser." I explain to her that I have no idea how this is done, so she'll need to show me what she's talking about. She points in the mirror and shows me these cute little tabs on both bra straps and shows me that when you pull them down, it loosens the bra and when you pull up, it tightens it. I literally screamed out in delight. This was brand new information to me! I was thrilled. I asked her if all bras did this and she smiles and says "I think so." Then she tells me that tank tops usually do it too! 
I could not believe it. She asked me if I had just started wearing a bra and I tell her (still not realizing what an idiot I look like) that I've been wearing one about 14 years. 
I left the dressing room, thanking her a million times over, walked out and found Jason - "Did you know that you can loosen bra straps on the back of the bra?!" He looks at me kind of confused and then says "Yeah." So I asked him how and he says "Those little tabs on the strap, they go up and down... didn't YOU know that?" 
And the rest is history. For those of you who have been wondering... I'm a dork for sure. 

My friends at church got a huge laugh out of it and some of them even went home and asked their husbands about the tabs on bras, just to see how common it was for people not to know. So far, I'm the only one. Lucky me. 
My Mom's only question was "you didn't tell the woman you were home schooled, did you?" 
Today my friend Renee sent me a link to JCPenny's online "how to wear a bra" guidelines page. :) 
I love that you all love me in spite of how clueless I can be. 

Comments

You are hilarious!! That is so funny. Your life must be revolutionized :)
Anonymous said…
That is so great!!
Stef said…
It is! It really is. I came home and realized most of my bras were way to big, but the ones I had given up on... they're awesome! :)
I have to thank you girls for taking the time to read this. I didn't realize it was so long until I published it. :)
Gina said…
Ok, that's WAY too funny! I love your mom's comment too. Not sure how you missed out on that tidbit, but I'm very happy you have found it--makes bra wearing and shopping MUCH better! :-) Love ya Stef! :-)
jess said…
Hah!...that was great, Stef! I love the comment from your mom, priceless! I can totally see her saying that too! Glad you are feeling more comfy these days!! :)
Nini said…
That is pure comedy!
Dani said…
Lol,too funny!I hate bra shopping!Esp when I'm preggo.
Erin said…
Stefanie,
I don't know what to say.
Hilarious. Really.
Erin said…
Stefanie,
I don't know what to say.
Hilarious. Really.
Melissa Joy said…
hey Stef, I just read this and cracked up! especially because I was out buying nursing bras & a tank this afternoon, and when I tried them on at home I had to call for my husband to adjust the straps.
and yes, he totally knew how. :)
thanks for the storytime laugh!
Lettner Family said…
That is pure comedy!
Gina said…
Ok, that's WAY too funny! I love your mom's comment too. Not sure how you missed out on that tidbit, but I'm very happy you have found it--makes bra wearing and shopping MUCH better! :-) Love ya Stef! :-)

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