what's your way?
I love learning. I like to research things, think them out, talk about them (my poor husband often hears my thoughts 10 million times on one subject - that IS an exaggeration, but gets my point across) and I especially like to learn from other, usually older wives/moms. This "job" of wife and mom is ever changing and continually needs improvement, so I glean from wherever I can.
Since we moved, I've been working on getting a nice routine down with my kids. Mostly because our lives here took on more routine, with Jason's new job (he has very set, specific hours) and his job allows him to be home with us until 2:30pm every day. Also, our lives have slowed down quite a bit here, which has been nice, but also a hard adjustment, mostly on our kids. Ethan misses the business of life and seeing people every day, going new places and meeting new faces (didn't mean to make that rhyme). Rachel seems to love this new schedule. She craves and loves routine, especially when we're at home a lot. She's a home body.
Kara obviously likes the routine, mainly because she's still a baby. She needs her specific eating times, specific nap times, etc... I thought the adjustment for me would be hard, but so far, its been nice. We've gotten involved in the MOMS club, which keeps us busy and that's nice. Every week there are many different outings, field trips and play dates we can go to - you just pick the ones you want to go to, but sometimes there's something going on every week day.
I love having kids that do well with traveling and do well with being busy during the day. I think its good for them and helps them be a little more well adjusted and experience things they cannot experience shut up in the house, everyday, all day.
Anyway, I'm on a tangent here...
Since we've moved, I've been getting a new routine for our lives here all set up. Back in CA I had specific days I would do deep cleaning on the bathrooms, specific days I would iron, mop certain floors, dust, vacuum, etc... Since we've moved here, I'm adding some schooling for E&R to our days (nothing too detailed, don't worry) and we've added things like "Bible time" to our day, where we read a Bible story, discuss it and then pray together.
I'm wondering how you moms do it. Do you find daily routines to be helpful or not? I have some days where I feel like my routine is my worst enemy; if I don't get to something on my list, I feel like it wasn't a productive day. I'd love to hear what helps you to stay on top of your duties and what increases better family time and most especially, more uninterrupted time with your husbands. I cannot stand having a list of things to do when Jason comes home from work. His new schedule here is 3-11pm, so I will save my chores and such for the evening. I love having my time freed up when he's here, so he doesn't feel like a baby sitter, while I'm off cleaning, cooking or out shopping. Its actually why I don't go grocery shop at night, when he's here. But that's just how things work for us and my preference, so if you grocery shop at night, don't take offense! If it works for you, then yay!
I know we all have different degrees of how we manage our homes. Some of us don't mind the mess, some of us can't function in a mess. Its obviously going to be different for each family and most of us have probably come to make our decisions, based on what works for you and your husband. I don't think one is necessarily better than the other. I think its really a matter of what the couple has decided is best for their family.
But I'd love to hear some of your thoughts!
I'm wondering 3 things.
1.) do you keep a daily or at least weekly routine? If so, is it in your head or actually on paper?
2.) if you don't, would you mind sharing why you don't? Especially if you have in the past and decided it wasn't working.
3.) what types of books or websites have you seen that have helped you find fun, physical activities for you and your kids during the day? I'm not talking about any type of school work - just extra curricular activities, whether it be cooking, crafts, games, or stuff to do outside together.
I'd love to hear your thoughts, so please share!
Comments
I do need to try to stick to the schedule a little better as it includes a variety of activities that I am usually to lazy to do with the kids. It would make life more fun for them.
Mondays are my chore day. We do the laundry and spend the a.m. doing the section of the house assigned to that week. I can't clean my house all at once, so I have divided it into 4 parts and the 5th Mondays are free except laundry. 1. bedrooms/hall 2. living room, family room, dining room-dust and hall 3. kitchen/kitchen and dining floor 4. bathrooms
I also wanted to have a day for the front yard and a day for the back yard each week, but haven't done that yet.
I find that this is one of the biggest things that gives me and Nick quiet time together. If the kids have bad sleeping schedules, it effects bedtime... like going to bed late, taking forever to fall asleep, or waking up repeatedly. Or, if we were gone too long on an outing, and they only get a short time with Daddy before bed, they are restless and will not sleep. So then they stay up late to visit with him, which them pushes our time together later, etc etc.
As for my schedule with cleaning and cooking and such, I play it by ear day to day. I make goals a game for myself, as in telling myself I can only get on the computer once the bathroom and kitchen are clean. I set goals daily, based on how everything else is going. That way I don't put too much on my plate, and I don't feel like I've failed when unexpected things come up during the day. Before I had kids, I would set a day to do lots of cleaning. But, I've found that if I do that and have high expectations of everything I am going to get done, that I end up having a short fuse with my kids because they (in just living!) are deterring me from my goal. I don't like feeling that way, so I switched to play-it-by-ear, day-to-day goals.
Also, depending on how messy or good the kids are, there are days when the kids naptime is my cleaning time. So, I have to give up just resting and relaxing in order to get some stuff done in order to relax when Nick gets home.
Sorry for rambling, you had a lot of questions you wanted answered by people. :)
When my kids were smaller we didn't really have a schedule, just did our daily stuff and played, cleaned up, made meals. Now I do have a schedule, but more of a loose one like Rebecca mentioned. It is a guide, and I try not to be a slave to it. (or else I would go nuts !) And like Rebecca, if I didn't have a schedule my time might not be as well spent. I do have a schedule for school, my chores and the kids chores. Although in school, I don't hyper-schedule. (a certain amount of time for each subject.) I just block of a big chunk for all of it, and then I have a list of what we have to do every day.
I really like having certain chores for all of us to do for each day of the week, then I know that nothing is falling through the cracks.
One book that helped me was Managers of Their Homes by the Maxwells. It has some great tips for figuring out what needs to be done which week, or each month and then organizing it into a schedule.
I really like what Krista said, about giving yourself a goal before doing the 'extra' stuff. (the computer can become an addiction...) And having one day a week for cleaning can be too stressful so we also split our cleaning up into the 5 work-days.
I really enjoyed reading what everyone said, great ideas!
Charlotte, the computer has been a huge concern with me, because I think its so easy (as a stay at home mom) to get sucked in and then tune out to life around you. I know this from experience :)
About a year ago (right before Kara's birth) I spent a lot of time praying about it and God really convicted me on the subject. Since then, I don't allow myself computer time when the kids are awake (sometimes when its just me and Ethan, if he's reading or watching a movie) and then I've really cut back on using the computer when Jason is home. Again, we do our best not to treat each other like baby sitters. Its been hard to stick to it, but after a few months, it became a habit, as most things do. And I'm so thankful for it, because its so relaxing and addicting. I think I could easily be on the computer while the house is burning down around me and I wouldn't notice :)
Charlotte, the computer has been a huge concern with me, because I think its so easy (as a stay at home mom) to get sucked in and then tune out to life around you. I know this from experience :)
About a year ago (right before Kara's birth) I spent a lot of time praying about it and God really convicted me on the subject. Since then, I don't allow myself computer time when the kids are awake (sometimes when its just me and Ethan, if he's reading or watching a movie) and then I've really cut back on using the computer when Jason is home. Again, we do our best not to treat each other like baby sitters. Its been hard to stick to it, but after a few months, it became a habit, as most things do. And I'm so thankful for it, because its so relaxing and addicting. I think I could easily be on the computer while the house is burning down around me and I wouldn't notice :)