12.14.2010

all I've got is 'random.'

December is half way over, Christmas is almost here, the baking hasn't really begun, the house never did get completely decorated, the gifts are going to be pretty few this time around {always a good thing} and yet I feel like I'm right where God wants me. 


Things haven't gone at all how I expected. Life this month has been really unpredictable. I laugh as I look at the calendar and see all the well laid out plans we had and fully expected to set into motion, each new day. And then I go back just a couple posts and re-read the post titled 'worry' - the post about plans. I re-read my own notes taken from the last sermon I heard, since I've not been back to church since then. God knew exactly what was in store for the rest of my month and put that sermon right where I'd need it most. 

I have a sister who is going through one of the deepest valleys right now. She's where some people would consider, at her lowest. And yet when I was with her this past weekend, I admired her strength. I was inspired by her obvious relationship with God. Her prayers leave me speechless. Her faith makes me feel so faithless, her determination and forward facing attitude, in the midst of sorrow and pain makes my little simple life feel... well, just that. Simple. Easy. Nothing to complain about. And yet I know I still will. I'll get all annoyed the next time someone takes the parking spot I want. I'll snap at my kids when they're just acting like kids, I'll think I'm having a "bad day" because I don't get my cup of coffee until 11am. 
I have a friend who lives in California, who has children with some health issues and one child with many health issues. Like, sometimes going outside and breathing in the air can be dangerous for him. Special diets, weekly trips to the hospital, shots, meds, hospital stays, major ups and major downs. And just when you'd think "wow, she inspires me" we find out her husband has cancer. He's young. So is she. Their kids are young too. And its in these moments I stop and thank God for my simple life and ask Him to remind me daily to remember I have absolutely nothing to complain about. 


Take this attitude that thinks nothing should ever go wrong and fix it on you, Lord. 
Change these selfish emotions into an outworking of Christlike 
love and devotion to You... in everything I do. 

I took a super quick trip to California this past weekend. We're talking 24 hours. Literally. 
It was great to see my sister, great to see her 4 kids and great to see my parents. And even a couple friends! I have a couple friends in California that like family, just cannot and will not be replaced. I like those kinds of friends. The ones who touch your heart in such a way, 'forgetting' about them just isn't possible. Out of sight, out of mind would never even cross your mind with those friends. Out of sight just means you miss them more, not less.
And let me tell you, when you move to a different state, you tend to learn who your real, genuine friends are. I've literally been told "well, once you move its hard to stay in touch. I read your blog and keep up with you on Facebook!" - wow... when did friendship become so insanely shallow? I know we can't all be super close, but I do wonder how much the Internet has taken away the depth and genuineness of real friendship. Sometimes I'm thankful when that happens. I tend to like to know what's real and what's not, right off the bat. 
Today one of our Pastor's made his FB status a quote from Saint Jerome and I thought it was pretty fitting for this post: "A friendship which can cease to be was never genuine." 

When I was in the airport waiting for Jason last night, I was people watching. I love to people watch. I would have just as much fun sitting in an amusement park people watching, than going on the rides! Well, maybe not just as much fun, but pretty close ;-) 
I wondered where everyone was flying to. Where they were flying in from. What was going on in their life to have them on a plane. One man walked up to the woman he was there to pick up and hugged her. She cried for a long time. Sobbing, actually. He kept telling her it would be okay - that she'll see her Mom again someday. "Death isn't as final as people say it is." Oh, so she lost her Mom. So sad :( 
The next couple over is seeing each other for the first time in months. She's all dressed up and giddy looking and he's in a military uniform, carrying one single red rose. Adorable
I wonder how long they've been apart. Seems its been quite a while, by the way she runs to him, jumps in his arms and they begin to make-out, like no one else is in the airport but them. I love it. 
Then there's people there alone. Ear buds in ears, running their fingers over their cell phone screen, completely clued out to what's going on around them. Almost like they like it that way. Like looking up, meeting the eyes of others, smiling and seeing what's going on in the world around them would be too painful. I wonder why? I get really creeped out when I go places and everyone seems to be looking down, with loud music in their ears, so they can't even hear the kids and I say "hello!" as we pass by. Its very depressing. I was telling Ethan the other day that it hasn't always been that way. Thank you, modern technology. 
He told me that the "Grandma and Grandpa type people" always say hello to him. So I explained that its because they're from a much more polite generation. A generation that's not so consumed with self. He actually seemed to understand. 

Came home to my warm, cozy house last night. Kissed my sweet babes and felt so happy and peaceful again. I like being home. When I'm away I miss it. I love my family. God has been so good to bless me with them. I think its pretty cool that I have two states that I call 'home'. Its fun to fly hundreds of miles away and land in a place where there's more family, more people I love and places I will never forget. Makes life seem triple blessed. 
My husband took care of 5 kids while I was gone. Isn't he pretty amazing? I think so. 
He didn't just 'watch' them - he took care of them. Fed, bathed, read books, night time prayers, kissed boo-boo's, and seemed to successfully meet the needs of our 3 and the 2 little friends we're baby sitting. 
I think he's pretty awesome. Thank you, my Love, for the simple every day ways you show me how deep your love for me goes. And, for above all, loving God more than you love me. 

So I'm home. Home sweet home. Making pancakes for 6 hungry kids. They're making me laugh at how ridiculous they're acting. "What's that? Is it yummy? Can we eat it? Does it taste good?" 
Me: "no guys. its the wrapper to the butter cube." :) 

Life is so random and so unpredictable. Oh, but only to us! And its better that way. I'd flip if I knew all this stuff in advance. I'm much happier leaving it in God's hands. 




8 {comments}:

Erin said...

Thanks for writing this, Stef. I don't have anything brilliant to say. Just, this was nice.
I like people watching, too. I like hearing about what you saw. Airports are great for that.
I knew Jason would do well with all the kids. Go daddies!

Nicola S. said...

Stef, thank you for this post. I have tears in my eyes as I read it and am convicted by my own sins. Thank you for your encouraging words.
I will be praying for you sister, that God will uphold her and keep her eyes on our loving Savior.

{Trish} said...

I love you.

Gina said...

I don't think this was as random as you thought--and I loved it! There was so much that touched my heart in it--thank you. God is so good to us, really. I am thankful to have people like you in my life and I was so tickled to see you--even for just a few minutes. :-) John came home minutes after you left and he was genuinely bummed he missed you. Can't wait to get both of our families together for a good visit--whenever that will be! Miss you! And thanks again for a great post!

kristen said...

thanks for this post, stef. i appreciated it.

Stef said...

Thanks All!

Trish, I love you too.

Gina, THRILLED to see you as well! I wish the visit was longer, but we can't have it all ;-)
Miss you!

Stef said...

Thanks All!

Trish, I love you too.

Gina, THRILLED to see you as well! I wish the visit was longer, but we can't have it all ;-)
Miss you!

{Trish} said...

I love you.

 

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