I've been wanting to post about this giveaway gift I won, but between needing to take a good picture of it, then blogging about and then getting the post up... it just slipped through the cracks.
 I won it back in April, but then we had a lot going on in April with losing Micah and just life in general, then we went to California for most of July and then we got home and life got shoved into high summer gear, and here I am, finally posting it.
Back at the beginning of April I entered into a blog giveaway, not thinking much of it. I didn't even know what the prize was going to be, just entered and thought "who knows, maybe I'll win something."
About 5 days after we lost Micah, I received an email from a sweet lady over in North Carolina, letting me know I was the blog giveaway winner! Moments before reading her email, I had been sitting in bed just sobbing. I had been feeling an overwhelming sense of loss and greif and sadness. I think that was the day I was able to fully grasp what was going on. I was upstairs alone in my room, just me and God. And I completely let it all out. Remembering that God tells me to cast every one of my cares on Him, because He cares for me.... its what I did. I asked Him to please remind me during these dark times, how blessed I truly am. I said something to the effect of "remind me in the simple ways. A kiss from one of the kids, a reminder that you've blessed me with Jason, with good health, with our families, with our friends. Please help me to see Your glory and Your grace through this. I need those reminders right now. I need to look Heavenward and not down at myself."
I finished praying and decided to catch up on emails. The first email I opened was the giveaway announcement and here is the picture of the prize I won.

{this is the pic of took of it, but the painting was in my email}

And I'm not kidding you when I say, my entire body was covered in chills. 
This woman, who I had never met before and had NO idea what was going on in my life, 
painted this picture for her blog giveaway... and I was the winner. ME
Needless to say, there were more tears. I began thanking God for showing me in very simple 
{and very clear} ways that I am indeed blessed. 

I replied to her email and knew I had to tell her just how special this painting would be to me. 
So I gave her a the very short version: Just had a miscarriage at 12 weeks, laying here in bed
praying that God would show me and remind me that I am blessed; that thankfulness is possible 
in the midst of trials. That this is not the end of this journey for me and that God cares and knows my greif. 
Its good to remind myself of that. I tend to forget how much God really cares. 

And as if MY part of the story wasn't enough, she wrote back to me with this letter.... 
"I'm crying and covered in goosebumps! 
I miscarried a month ago, I thought I was 12 weeks and the baby was only at 9. 
I painted this right after my surgery. We found out on a Tuesday, had surgery on a Friday, then my husband went out of town for a week for work on that Monday so I was home alone with our one year old. To process everything that had happened I started painting. Its like I've told Jessi, I just pray someone gets the comfort out of what I painted the same way I got comfort out of painting it! 
Its amazing how perfect this is."

I told her that every time I see this picture, I will smile, because it will be a simple reminder to me of how great and how good God is. How tenderly He loves and cares for me. 

So that's my story behind this painting. 
I plan to hang it in our next baby's room, if God blesses us again. 
I think that would be the perfect room for it. 
For now, it will hang close by the front door in our new home, so I will see it every time I enter. 

9 {comments}:

HeyNowHannah said...

Amazing. That piece has a lot of emotion behind it.

Nicola S. said...

God's loving care on us all is so amazing and wonderful. Even when days look very bleak, our loving Father holds everything in His hands. What a precious reminder of His Blessings.

Brooke said...

Wow. What a cool story, Stef!

Melissa Joy said...

That's a beautiful story, Stef. God's weavings in the tapestries of our lives are so intricate, it's astonishing. (((hugs)))

Stef said...

Thanks girls!

Gina said...

LOVE this! I love how God translates His love for us in tangible ways in our lives. This little painting will always have a special place in your home--whether it adornes a future child's room, or a wall in another room of your house. What a wonderful reminder you received indeed! :-)

Jessica said...

Oh my word!! I knew you won this but didn't know what a precious story was behind it. I love the idea of putting it in the nursery of your future little one. And that the Lord gave you such a sweet sweet little reminder of just how important each thought, event, feeling, etc. of yours is to Him.


Erin said...

Stef, this is really lovely - the story & the painting! Glad you shared.

Stef said...

Gina, that is exactly where I hope to hang it someday... in the next baby's room. Wouldn't that be an awesome reminder every time I'm up all night with a fussy one? :)


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