"behave at the Dr's office!"

... Those were my words to my 3 kids as we drove to my Dr's appointment this afternoon.
I have had {another} horrible sinus infection for 2 weeks; my head has felt ready to explode at any moment, my nose is so terribly stuffed I can't breath through it, at all.
My eyes often felt like they'd pop out of their sockets and the ear and neck pain was often unbearable. Especially at night. After trying every all natural, home remedy, I caved and scheduled an appointment.
So as we drove there we went over all the do's and don'ts. We discussed what is obedient behavior and what is rude, disobedient behavior. I asked them "who is going to be on their very best behavior at the Dr's office?" and they all cheered in unison, "I AM!!"
So after my long speech I felt great. Confident; sure that my kids would set a good example for other kids and that our visit would be pleasant.

We walked into the office and to my joy, they had a movie playing on the TV.
All 3 parked it at the little table and laughed hysterically as they watched the end of Despicable Me.
Rachel began quoting lines from the movie that make her laugh the most; all of which had something to do with bottoms and the word "poo".
Kara had to dance during the credits. If you've ever heard the music at the end of that movie, you'll understand why she has to dance.
Shortly after they turned on a movie called The Santa Clause. My kids have never seen this movie and I thought it was odd that the receptionist turned it on, since every child in the room was under the age of 7.
Five minutes into the movie, Tim Allan makes a comment at a work party about some guy's secretary getting cozy on his lap. Ethan jumps up... "what! Why on earth is his secretary on his lap?! Doesn't that bother his wife? What kind of movie is this?!" I'm sitting there trying to quiet him down, by talking in a very low, quiet voice myself. I answer his question with, "he's pointing out that she shouldn't be on his lap because he does have a wife." He's not pleased with this and begins telling me how horrible the movie is {and I can't say I disagree - but I think the whole movie is lame, so....}

Thankfully the nurse opens the door and calls my name. YAY - "lets go guys, its our turn now."
They behave quite nicely as she takes my temperature and all are very concerned and holding my hands because they're convinced at any moment she's gonna stick me with a needle, just as I'm not expecting it.
Then she tells me to get on the scale so she can weigh me. Don't you just love digital scales? I miss the old analog types, where it was harder for people around you to actually read the weight.
As my luck would have it, Rachel reads the number... out loud, VERY loud. And then says "Whoa, Mommy! Your body weighs so many numbers! You weigh like FOUR of Daddy's numbers!" And in case everyone couldn't hear the numbers the first time, she loudly tells them to Ethan, again."
I assure her that her statement is not true in the slightest and the nurse tries her hardest not to laugh.
She fails.

We get settled in the room, the nurse asks me {for the 10th time I'm sure} what my symptoms are and why I'm there. She checks me in and tells us the Dr will be in, in a few minutes.
The kids and I pass the time by talking about all sorts of things. Rachel wants to know who the people are on all the magazines. She's confused why we see magazines with 'random' people on them and wonders when we'll be on one. I tell her they're famous people and so we begin discussing what the word 'famous' means. Kara wants to know what every tool in the room is for and while I'm not personally feeling too great, they were at least behaving and learning something educational as we waited for the Dr.

20 minutes later, she walks in.

During my visit with her Kara tears the paper on the bed twice. The Dr and I clean it up, I tell Kara not to tear it again. She does. I tell her she will be punished for that later. She doesn't seem to care and proceeds to lay on the floor and spin around, realizing her coat slides quite nicely on the slippery floor.
I'm grabbing her off the floor and realizing Rachel has rolled the magazine up that she was looking at and is now chewing on it. Its IN her mouth. I place Kara in the chair and tell Rachel to take the magazine out of her mouth. As I'm talking to Rachel, Ethan begins to be annoyed {severely annoyed} that Kara's arm is now touching his arm. So he proceeds to push, shove and eventually slap Kara, to get her arm off of his.
I quickly tell him this is NOT allowed and give him my look that says "Stop being naughty and acting up just because we're in front of a stranger." He doesn't react at all how I hope he'd react.

I begin to remind the kids of the promise they made me in the car... "Remember guys we talked about this on the way here? you all said you would do your very best to obey Mommy during our visit? Are you honoring your promise that you made or are you breaking it?" - they all stare at me like "wow... what on earth are you talking about, crazy lady." And I realize this visit is not gonna end well.
Just after I have this conversation, Rachel shoves Kara and she falls on the floor and begins to scream. I know the fall annoyed her, but she wasn't hurt. If you heard her screaming and crying, you'd think she broke bones.
I tell Rachel to help Kara up and then apologize to her for pushing her. She folds her arms across her chest and refuses to obey. Oh dear. 
I tell the kids that I'm going to finish talking to the Dr and then we will visit the bathroom on our way out so I can deal with these issues.
The Dr. is pretending not to hear them up until the point where Kara flips her lid over being shoved off the chair. Now she's visibly annoyed, but she can tell I'm at my wit's end and so she's patiently waiting for the chaos to end.

We finally make it out of there, I get my prescription, we head down to the elevators, go down to the parking garage and Ethan announces, "I forgot my jacket!" I stand there, weighing out in my head how important that jacket is to us and the thing is, its a jacket. It wasn't cheap, its his favorite one and yet part of me wants to spout off something like "you're the one who forgot it, so you're gonna lose it!"
But instead we turn around, march back up to the floor we were on, go retrieve the jacket, I have all 3 kids apologize to the nurses and the Dr. for behaving so poorly and we say our good byes and march back down to the car.

On the way out to the van, the kids are all feeling pretty guilty. I've just told them they will NOT be receiving the treat they hoped to get, due to their very bad behavior. They're all quite subdued and each coming up with their own version of "I'm so sorry Mommy for disobeying" etc....
A man sitting near where we're walking sees us and stops me to tell me how beautiful my kids are.
Me: "Thank you! That's very kind of you to say."
Man: "my goodness, such well behaved children too! Mommy must be so proud to take her 3 small children out and to have them behave like sweet little angels. What a blessing you must be to your Mommy! She probably tells Daddy every night, 'our children are the very best God ever made!' "
And as I smile and thank the man, I glance down at my kid's very guilty, completely shamed looks on their down trodden faces... I can't help but smile.

Thank you, God. You always show up in sometimes the smallest ways, but I appreciate it every time.

Our trip to IKEA that followed the Dr's office trip went swimmingly well ;-)

6 {comments}:

Volkov Family said...

This was GREAT! I could relate.

Charlotte said...

Oh my I can totally relate to this. And I can't STAND some of the movies/TV shows that are on in Dr.'s offices. (I have actually asked to have the channel/movie changed.)

When I was pregnant with my last I had to go in for long non stress tests 3 times a week and so I would pack a fun bag. It was full of books, crayons, soft play toys and a fun snack. It was all stuff that the kids never played with so it seemed like new. That would help sometimes, but we would still have our days. And even still Nutsy has her bag she takes with us to 4H and appointments.

God does work in ways we don't expect, even through perfect strangers. I'll bet your kids won't forget that trip to the doctors for a while....

Jessica said...

Oh my word!!! I giggled so many times reading this, and not just because I could TOTALLY hear YOU saying all this out loud in this post. Love those kids, even when they're naughty! :)

jillyco said...

hahaha! Oh Stef, you have such a way with words! And I could totally relate, as I think I had a similar experience about 11 years ago when I was pregnant with Lizzy. :)

jillyco said...

And you know, I'm STILL waiting for that book you're going to write someday (and dedicate to me). haha!

Erin said...

I can identify. Ha! Ah!!!!!!!


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