Last week my friend Jill's Mom {Joyce} lost her battle to cancer. She had been a very sweet friend to Ethan; a very special friend. She and Ethan exchanged letters and emails, she sent birthday and Christmas gifts to him and was such a good example to him of what it looks like to trust the Lord in ALL situations and to commit everything to God in prayer.
Ethan went from praying over the course of 2+ years for God to heal her from cancer, to realizing a couple weeks ago, the best prayer would be to pray for God to bring her Home quickly and relieve her of her pain and to begin praying for 'Mr. Cap' since he would soon be without his wife and sure to miss her very badly. Their last name is Caplinger, but as a 2 year old, that was hard for Ethan to say... so to him, they're the Caps :)

I asked Ethan if he wanted to write something out; a sort of 'in remembrance' note and he said he did.
He started writing by himself, but then asked if he could say the words and I would type them, since "it would be a lot of words."
So I began writing as he talked and every so often I guided the conversation by asking pointed questions.
Any time he talked about me, directly to me, I wrote it in the 3rd person, so it would make more sense to the reader.

I wanted to share it here, 
along with pictures we took the last time he and Mrs. Cap saw each other 
in person in June 2010.
    June 2010 - when we left the Combs' house Ethan got really teary in the back seat and I asked him what was wrong. He said, "I'm really glad I got to come see Mrs. Cap because I think its the last time I'll see her in person."

What will you remember most about Mrs. Cap?
"I will always remember Mrs. Cap. 
Not because she gave me some fun presents or just because she was Daniels' Grandma. 
I'll remember her because she was really, really special to me."

When did you meet Mrs Cap?  
"I met her when I was a baby and then got to see her again when I was 5.
When I was very little, she found out her body got cancer in it. 
I didn't know what cancer was, just that she was sick and we should pray. 
So I started praying. 
I didn't even know a lot about praying when I was so little, but I knew it was
all I could do. I knew only God could make her better. 
Sometimes I was mad when I would pray that her cancer would go away and then it didn't. 
Mrs Cap sent me a book about how God hears our prayers, 
but He's not gonna always give the answer we're looking for. 
Sometimes the answer is yes. 
Sometimes its no. 
Sometimes its just that we have to wait... and Mommy says I'm like her, 
I hate to wait :)" 

How do you think Mrs Cap felt about her cancer? 
"I'm sure Mrs Cap hated her cancer. I don't think she never complained. 
But she never complained about it to me
She always told me we needed to trust God and remember 
He was gonna take care of her. 
And even though I'm really sad she died, God did take care of her. 
He brought her Home to be with Him. 
I bet she's not sad at all now!"

Did you like writing letters with Mrs Cap? 
"I love the letters she wrote to me. 
I liked the things she said to me and how she thought I was a neat boy. 
Mrs Cap was an older lady and I'm little, so it was cool for us to be pen-pals. 
She sent me a Veggie Tale movie that I love. 
and she gave me a book about God's wisdom for boys."

What about now? what do you do now that she's gone?
"I pray for Mr. Cap now. 
He's here and he's alone. 
Mrs Cap was his wife for a TON of years. 
If Daddy lost Mommy after that many years, he would be more sad than 
anyone has ever seen him. 
Even though he'd be happy Mommy is with God. 
Mr. Cap is happy she's in Heaven. But he's sad to have her gone. 
I bet he's more excited to go to Heaven now." 

What do you think Mrs Cap would want you to remember? 
"I think Mrs Cap would want me to remember that even though I love my 
parents and my sisters {and a new brother coming soon!} and even 
though I have fun, cool toys, I should mostly be happy about God. 
If we're too happy about other things, Heaven isn't gonna be a place we'll want to go. 
Mrs Cap wanted me to love God and to obey Him and make sure I don't 
get too excited over things that don't matter. 
Like legos and football. 
Sometimes I get way too worried about those things. 
They're fun, but they don't really matter." 

How do you feel today? 
"I'm 7 today. I know she'd send me a birthday card if she was alive. 
I'll miss getting her card this year. 
I got to tell her that I asked Jesus into my heart before she died. 
I think she was very happy to know that. 
I know that its sad when people die.
Mommy had 3 babies die before they were born. I hated it. 
I wish we could've met them or just knew more about them. 
But I know that God isn't gonna mess up and He isn't making bad things happen. 
He turns bad, sad things into great things. 
I'm not sure how He does it. 
I bet Mrs Cap gets to ask Him those questions now. 
When I'm bigger I'll probably be like, "oh, that makes more sense now." 
but I'm only 7 so a lot of things don't make sense."

I just know I loved Mrs. Cap and I will miss her a lot. 
I have a picture of her in my room. It was helping me remember to pray for her 
every night. I would pray God would heal her. And He did
She's more healed now than she ever was. 

How would you thank God for this, now that Mrs Cap's battle with cancer is over? 
"I would say, "thank you, God, for making her better. 
Even though she didn't get to stay here and be better, I know she's happier. 
And thank you for teaching me a lot about prayer and about being a good friend."

"yesterday in church when we sang that Beautiful Things song, do you know 
why I closed my eyes when I was singing it?" 

"you told us in the car it was so you could memorize the words and not see people." 

"yeah. I wanted to really memorize the words. 
I think God took Mrs Cap's sick body and turned her into a beautiful thing in Heaven." 

7 {comments}:

Holly D. said...

You have a VERY special boy, Stef! He brought me to tears in a good way. Thank you for sharing this!

Stef said...

Thanks Holly. I feel like in the busyness of life, these details can get passed us. I don't sit down with Ethan and just ask him questions and let him talk. We have a lot of deep conversations in the car, but I'm not usually ready to take notes or really get deeper, since I'm driving :)

This melted my heart too. I sat there typing with tears just streaming down my face the whole time.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for posting.

Cindy Marsch said...

I expect this will be a most special keepsake for Mr. Cap. And for Ethan later on, too. Lovely.

Stef said...

Its being printed and put into his journal and we sent a copy to Mr. Cap before posting it.

Gina said...

I love his heart! This is precious.

The Abe Green Family said...

Just precious! So wise and profound coming from a 7 year old.


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