12.21.2015

Christmastime is coming!

Remember that song? "Christmas time is coming, the goose is getting fat... please put a penny in the old man's hat. If you haven't got a penny a hay penny will do, if you haven't got a hay penny, God bless you!" 
My Mom would probably laugh so hard if she knew I walk around my house singing the silly songs she taught us when we were little. I know so many more like that one. My kids think I'm super cool at this point and I'm hanging on to that opinion as long as I can.

Christmas is a few days away and since I'm still in "healing" mode, it doesn't fully feel like Christmas. The other day I found myself saying "I miss NORMAL!" and as I said it, I asked myself, "but what IS normal?" Like, isn't normal where we are right now? Why do we always think normal was the last time we were happy or stress free?
Before I was married I was single. Single at one point was the norm for me. So why didn't I freak out after I got married and miss normal?
Before becoming a mom I didn't have kids. So after Ethan was born and I was blissfully happy, why didn't I cry for normal? I just realized that I believe normal is right now. Its where we are and what we make of today. I know everyone understands when I say "I miss normal", I just felt like I needed to verbalize that reality check I went through :)

I am doing well. Its a popular question right now and while I always wonder if my response is sufficient enough (although sometimes I think I give too much information!) I always think of that scene in FRIENDS when Monica asks Richard how he's doing and he says, "oh, I see you've heard about the divorce." He tells her he knows when people know he and his wife got divorced because they tilt their head to one side and ask "how're you doing?" Anyway... just realized this means nothing to any of you if you haven't seen FRIENDS. Which you should. And its on Netflix. But as "friendly" as the title sounds, its not a kid show.
All that aside, I'm doing well. I'm healing but its a very slow process. I had some bleeding start up again which concerned me a great deal, but my Dr is 95% sure its my cycle beginning again. I'm gonna stop there just because I don't know how many male readers I have.
I feel weaker again, I tire out easy still, and by 5pm I am pretty much done for the night. I physically can't push myself further at that point and I've mostly learned to embrace that. If something fun is planned for the evening I just make sure to nap during that day. I'm basically a toddler right now ;-)

It snowed a tiny bit today! And I'm so glad the people in the greater Seattle area aren't used to getting snow because otherwise we would totally feel like out-of-place Californians every time we saw some! Thankfully everyone around here freaks out just as much as we do :)
It melted inches before hitting the ground so it wasn't like we got any that stuck, but it was still beautiful, wonderful snow falling from the sky. Its so peaceful to watch. We had Nutcracker music on and the girls had their noses pressed on the sliding glass door, trying to will it to snow heavier. Miles is still uncertain. He has never liked snow. He doesn't mind seeing it, but he has mostly refused to touch the stuff since he was born. He was asking me if God was spilling ice cream, or if the clouds were overflowing (that was my favorite), and his eyes were just huge while he looked up and kept saying "I just wonder why it does that."

After hearing that real Christmas tress bloom mold (and this is ALL Christmas trees, not just some) we opted to try an artificial one this year in the hopes that we all saw improved winter health.
I'm happy to report that unlike the past... 5 years? We haven't had one viral issue in our house so far!
Jason and Ethan usually get it the worst. In fact, Jason's has turned to walking pneumonia the last several years. Ethan has had to use an inhaler this time of year since he was born and I always had horrible issues when we lived in CA that got somewhat better here, but still showed their ugly head every December. I've been told its all in my head and we're just healthier because we haven't been as social this year and while I think that's cute that everyone thinks they know our schedule so well, my husband and kids have been just as social as ever. It is true that I've been less out of doors and busy as I usually am, but the kids have been at church, school, activities, friends houses, Jason has been to work, church (teaching Sunday School to a bunch of 6-8 year olds) etc... so something tells me the lack of a real tree has helped us.

The girls and I never did have our Christmas baking day and I know I'm missing it more than they are. I brought it up the other night, they made sad faces and then I offered them these delicious chocolates I bought at Costco and it was like all was forgotten. They were so happy to eat chocolates with me at 8pm :)
I'm hoping to feel well enough to make the Pioneer Woman cinnamon rolls! We did that the last two years and they are SO good and fun to share with neighbors. Its a fun process too; the kitchen gets all messy and smells divine and you get to use so much butter with NO guilt... because its Christmas and we only indulge in these rolls once a year. So there.

We did Special Angles again this year. Its a tradition my mom started when I was a little girl and we've done it since Ethan and Rachel were very young. It definitely gets more fun as the kids get older.
This was the first year Miles has begun to really understand it. I explained that your special angel does loving, special things for you and does their best to do them in secret. But I know he doesn't fully get it because any time I wipe his bottom, or give him a meal to eat or buckle him in his carseat he tells me, "mommy, your special angel is SO proud of you!" :)

This post is all over the place and I'm stopping here just to point out that I know that. I haven't gone completely crazy. I'm just rambling. You all know by now how good I am at that.

I can't believe in a couple weeks we will be wrapping up all the pretty Christmas things, putting the decorations away and thinking about starting school again. Because this December has been much slower for me I think I've actually enjoyed it more than I usually do. The month typically flies by in a crazed flurry and I usually spend January wishing we had spent more time at home. Just us. Enjoying each other and the season and all it brings. And this year I'm happy to say we've done so much of that. Lots and lots of fires in the fireplace, the older 3 kids have stayed up to play board games with us, the girls spent one night sleeping out by the tree and I laid with them for a bit and we giggled about all sorts of things. We've been loving the advent type (devotional) book by Ann Voskamp... just so many things we usually don't make time for, we've enjoyed so much this year. So see! There are hidden blessings everywhere. We just have to look for them and want to find them.

Have a very Merry Christmas, everyone!


1 {comments}:

Gina said...

I am SO far behind in reading this but can I just say how much joy it gave me to read this? It's wonderful! The feeling of love and true appreciation for the moment really shines through. I love Miles' reaction to snow and his understanding of the special angels--just precious! I so wish the kids were closer and we could spend time with them. Happy you embraced the moments and really enjoyed the season. Even happier that you are here to form a new normal (and your definition of normal in reflection of Friends was spot on) :-)

 

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