laughing out loud sometimes isn't enough

By Stef - October 14, 2016

I saw the title and intro to my last post and laughed out LOUD. Oh well. I'm not even going to talk about it anymore. My only defense is that for most people, blogs are a thing of the past. I refuse that to be true for me (I still sit once a week and catch up on my favorite blogs). To me, it is as personal as you can get, without being face to face or talking on the phone.

My run-down for how 2016 has gone so far can be summed up in 3 words. Wonderful and unexpected. I think when you come close to death the way I did last year, it takes a lot to get you in the depths of despair (as Anne would say), so while parts of this year have been beyond sad; Jason's Grandma passed away, my health continued to cause major issues, etc... I am still forever so grateful to have life.
I see my kids growing each month, learning new things, struggling with big kid issues, having "the best day ever" many days over I've lost count and I realize those things alone are blessings we're just not promised.

The highlights of this year were us getting to see and say goodbye to Jason's Grandma. We went to California in April and spent her 90th birthday celebration with her; a day I'll never forget.
On that same trip we knew we'd probably not see her again and I found a lot of peace in being able to know I was kissing her goodbye for the last time. I'm really thankful for that trip.
I got the chance to fly to LA and visit my oldest sister and her family! I had such a fun time with them and am already planning my next trip there. There's something completely beautiful about a Mommy, stepping away from the daily mundane duties and acting like a young, 20 something with very little cares in the world. It was such a fun 3 days and the only thing that could've topped it was if Jason could've been there with me.

We got season passes to Wild Waves again but sadly haven't used them as much as we did last year. Which is a bummer because its such a fun park! Between my health issues and hospital stay in August it really caused our summer to feel like it disappeared before it even started.

School is going really well this year. Its gone pretty smoothly so far and has been more intense with a 6th and 5th grader. I'm tutoring at Classical Conversations (5th and 6th graders) and this is Miles first year as a student and he's loving it! The other day we all laughed when we heard him in the bath, singing his Latin verb endings *haha!*
He is most interesting in learning how to read and all things space. He wants to know where the sun is, how far away from us it is, "does Saturn know it was created by GOD?" and so on. He basically never stops wanting to learn. He's sitting on the bed next to me right now, admiring a Lego ship Jason made for him and he said, "Daddy is a genius! He found a crossbow here!"

Fall has been beyond amazing this year and has totally lived up to its hype. This weekend we've got a nasty storm blowing through, but everything was canceled and we have grand plans of being home with fires burning in the fireplace, lots of reading, board games, movies and, of course, football. Because, the Seahawks.

(I just laughed at myself because while that last "sentence" makes total sense to ME, it is SO improper! I guess this is what happens when you're teaching your kids all about English and writing. We can thank social media for the new version of talking *eyeroll*)

I'm in that spot where I feel like I have nothing to say and 5 million things that want to come spilling out. I love writing out what I'm thinking but I feel like its either getting harder to do the older I get, or I'm so busy with other stuff, sitting down to write what's on my mind feels like too much work :(
I need to get better at it.

I'm not looking forward to voting this year. I feel like for the first time in my life, I'm going to be really depressed as I walk to the polls. And yet, things like this prove nothing more than reminding me that God is so much bigger and better than anything or anyone here.
He created each one of us. The other day I was reading Psalm 139 and that simple fact hit me like brand new information. God created each one of us. Even the ugly, stupid people ;-)
We're all formed in His image; He knows our end just as He started our beginning. That gave me not only hope and comfort, but reminded me to pray for people I would much rather just stick my middle finger up at. And oh my gosh! I've never actually done that, but... I've wanted to. Which is the same thing basically, right? HA. Just when I was feeling proud of myself.

I'm trying to be more intentional with friendships. Learning which ones aren't the most helpful to me and which ones I need and need me. Sounds weird right? It was hard for me to admit to myself. I need people and people need me. Not in the 'needy' way we like to imagine. But we need people to love us, pray for and with us, encourage us, remember us, laugh with us, split a gut with us! I have a few of those and they're cherished friends forever. No matter the distance.

I know most of you are on Instagram (some of you maybe not?) so I'll leave a picture or two for those of you who aren't. I don't want my blog to be that boring blog with NO pictures.