I'm here. You might regret it...

Hey, we haven't chatted in a while. Or, rather, I've not rambled at you in a while ;-)
I don't have anything specific to talk about, just thought I'd poke my head in for a bit and say hi.
I wish I had some grand subjects to go on and on about, but I don't. The more I feel like I have something to share/teach, the quicker God shows me that I don't. Listening and learning is still front and center for me. I'd love to share with you all the tricks on raising 4 kids {as if I know that yet} and I'd love to give you secrets on how to get amazing, home cooked meals on the table every night, while keeping your home amazingly clean and your children all neat and well behaved. If you ever see this in one place, just know one thing for certain - you are NOT at my house.
I wanted to high five my husband last night when we got all 4 kids bathed and in bed by 9pm. Felt like such a victory. Then I realized how much I've lowered my standards over the years ;-)
Just when you think someone is doing life better than you, remind yourself that person has someone who they feel is doing life better than them. Its a vicious cycle, folks.

I've been soaking up lots of online sermons - from Pastors I know and some from men I've never met and just heard about. I'm also thankful that when we miss several weeks of church in a row {like, because we had a baby} I can still go online and hear them all. Such a blessing.
I want to be in the Word more, but I've never been one of those ladies who can read or pray very in depth during the middle-of-the-night feedings. I am thankful for my iPhone for these reasons though. I can go to our church app and play a sermon and just sit and listen to truth as I nurse Miles. Last night he nursed so often I actually finished a sermon by the time 6AM rolled around!
I am trying to get lots of reading in as well, during the day when I'm more coherent.
I never liked reading when I was younger. I was the kid that would rather go DO. Send me outside, send me to go rein-act a book or movie, sure. But to sit and read about something someone else did? So boring. I think for this reason I still don't really like novels. Its so odd to me. I'd rather read about a true life story, or a book that is going to help me grow, personally. Simplicity Parenting, God's Garden of Grace and What Did You Expect? are the three I'm digging into this month. I love each of them for very different reasons, but they're all excellent reads.
I've been reading out loud to Miles. He likes to hear my voice, so sometimes he lays on my chest and I just read away. I love when he suddenly pokes his little head up and stares at my face. Not sure what he's thinking... I think he's going to be a big communicator someday. Or just a really great listener. He loves to be talked to, sung to, or just hear people talk. He seems to listen very well.
He's already giving Jason and I cute little smiles when we talk to him. He first searches to meet our eyes and then when you see his eyes lock onto our faces, he begins hearing our tone and then a smile creeps across his face. Such a sweetheart.
Last night we were skype'ing with my in-laws and he smiled at them. Such a fun moment :)

The 'older three' {I have to think of a cuter, more endearing name to call them} are doing well.
They're all so very deeply in love with Miles. There's often arguing over who gets to hold him next, who's Mommy's best helper, who Miles loves the most, etc... I'm not sure if him being born brought out the scary in them or if their sin nature at work just coincided with his birth.
I feel like there's children arguing pretty much 24/7 in our house. All 3 of them forgot to share, no one truly remembers to show kindness and love first, everyone is looking out for their own interests and a heart that's quick to forgive and show grace is so hard to find.
I met a lady at the park the other day, she has 5 older kids. I think she said her youngest is 8 now. She laughed out loud when I was telling her about the new issues in our home and she said "I doubt it has anything to do with the new baby, but everything to do with new issues their little hearts are coming up against." She told me her kids go through phases - some are great and some are ones she wishes she could block from her memory. But she said, "do yourself and your family a favor and don't blame those issues on a new wonderful life in your home. There's always going to be something to blame our sin on, right? Focus on the heart issues." - good reminder.
I do love having kids close in age. Its often so much fun and exciting to see them be such close buddies. But when they each go through a rough phase at the same time... its hard. Its in those times I quickly remind myself that God's grace is sufficient for me and these are the children He gave me, with the age spaces He chose for them to have.
We've been dealing mostly with complaining, grumbling spirits and definitely needing to respond better when hearing the word 'no'. Ethan told me the other day that he can't wait to be an adult, when these things are no longer issues. HA! Is HE in for a big surprise :)

See. Now you kind of understand why I've not blogged much other than pictures these days?
My brain is kind of a random jumble of things.
We're busy with school, family visiting, getting adjusted to life as six, exploring and learning about God's world as we go about our day, getting ready to paint Miles' bedroom, trying to ease back into our regular routine of life, and trying to be on time {or as close to on time} for appointments, field trips and other activities. I told my Mom that in a very weird way Miles has made us more timely since he's on such a tight schedule. Once he's done nursing, I know I have a certain amount of time to get out the door and get to where we're going, before he wants to nurse again.
I love how babies can keep us better organized :)

6 {comments}:

W and J said...

Ahh, my heart just skipped a beat when you mentioned simplicity parenting!! :) SO glad you're loving it! I should probably read it again! We're definitely dealing with matters of the heart over here in the form of whining and tantrums. Oh so fun. Yeesh!

Love you!

Sunny said...

Giving you a big hug! I am so with you, mama. My boys are struggling with sharing and cooperating as well. My oldest is going through an "easy" phase, thank goodness, but of course he has his moments. Parenting 2-year-old twins, though, while being hugely pregnant and exhausted... well, it's a challenge. Our parent educator at preschool says "Kids need you the most when they are at their worst." I know my twins are going through one of those growing phases where they are learning about ownership and how to express themselves, and they need me to help guide them as to how to properly handle those new skills. But meanwhile, I'm kinda at my worst right now, too! Sorry, I don't mean to make this comment all about me. :) I just wanted to say that I completely empathize, and I think you are an absolutely INCREDIBLE mom. Hang in there, it'll get easier! (And then it will get harder again. But still, easier for a while at least!) ;)

Nicola said...

I'm right there with you (other than the fact that I don't have a new baby) with my girls. They have been whinning, arguing and fighting all the time. I know that it's just a different phase they're going through, but God is really teaching me patience as I deal and train my girls. So often I'm saying something to the girls and I can hear my mom or dad saying the same thing to me when I was a child.

Liz said...

I totally agree with you... typing one handed :)

Love to meet your boy... hopefully soon!!


Charlotte said...

Life is so full of phases. I remember when we brought our 4th home from the hospital...there were days when I did get it all done, and then days when all that happened was I ended it in bitter tears.

I wish I could tell you it gets better. It does in some ways. My husband and I were commenting just the other day that it has been a couple of years since we have had to give a bath, read a bedtime story and brush teeth. They do that all on their own now, and then knock on our door for goodnight kisses.

Now we are facing a different set of issues. Heart issues. Life decisions. Things that some days feel to big to deal with. But God is bigger, and gives us the grace, no matter what phase of life we are in, to make it through the day.

Love your honesty Stef, and seeing your faith. :-)

Gina said...

It's good to "hear" from you. :-) I can totally relate to issues in the house. I think any major change in roles for everyone shakes things up just enough for all to see things differently and possibly even to act out. It's a season. :-) Hang in there--your new normal will surface and it will be better. :-)

BTW--the new font, *really* hard to read. :-(


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