eat sleep and farm

That's what happened to me yesterday. I went for my post pardum check up and found out that my body still thinks I'm pregnant. Which means the miscarriage isn't complete. Which would explain a lot of how I've been feeling {emotionally} the past couple of weeks. Feeling like hormones and emotions are completely out of whack and not knowing what's going on with my body. This would explain it. I am going in a few days for an ultrasound, where they will be able to tell how much tissue has been left behind and where its at. As long as there are no signs of infection, I will wait it out 2-3 weeks and go in once a week for blood tests, to see if my levels are dropping on their own - which would be a good sign. If they don't drop, I have to have a D&C. Please be in prayer for me. I confess feeling a huge knot in my stomach when she said the test came back positive. You're not usually upset to hear those words. Please pray that even though it will be long and ...

Today was one of those hard days. Do you have those? I do. One of those days where "the grass is always greener" seems to run through my head all day long. If this was this way, then this would be easier. If this could be like this, then I'd be happier, and so on. I know none of it is true or reality, but I tell myself it is because I know it will make my dumpy mood even dumpier and for some reason, in the moment, that's what I want. To be even more discontent. I hope its not just me that does that, but it wouldn't surprise me. I'm a bit of an odd duck. I was attacked by allergy season back on Sunday. We had the beautiful, sunny, warm weather on Saturday, then rain on Sunday and then sun and wind Monday and Tuesday = recipe for some terrible allergy symptoms! I woke up Wednesday morning feeling like a truck hit me {in my head only} and just wanting to curl up in bed and pretend I have no responsibilities but caring for little sick 'ol me. These are day...

  **Sorry for the back-to-back posts. I didn't meant to upload these all on the same day. Last Friday some friends of ours {from church} joined us at our park for some playtime.  The kids had fun playing together and Liz and I enjoyed adult time.  The cool thing is, they have 3 older kids my kids ages and in the same gender order!  A few weeks ago they welcomed a beautiful baby girl into God's world, named  Amelia Jane {we're kinda partial to her middle name} :-)  Oh. I posted these because a few weeks ago someone said  "does Kara ever act naughty? She's always such a smiley cutie pie."  Yes . In fact, we're in that stage where fits and whining and naughtiness  feels quite constant . So when I saw her doing this after I said she had to wait her turn  on the swings, I happened to be holding the camera and knew it needed to be captured.  If for no other reason than to show it to her when she's 30 something and doesn't remember eve...

It was a rare Spring day because it was actually warm!  So warm, I got a sun burn. Nothing too serious, but a definite burn.  Jason and I have been making a "bucket list" of things we want to do this Spring/Summer/Fall  and this park happened to be on our list. The kids and I stumbled on it last year and we were  anxious to bring Daddy here to play with us. Ended up being the perfect day for it!  we got out of the car and I told the kids "its quite warm - you won't need the sweaters."  but after the cold winter we've had, only Kara believed me :)  Steel Lake in Federal Way  So I decided to forget that I'm 31 years old and forget that I'm not a kid anymore  and played freeze tag with my kids. Before I knew it, about 8 other kids were playing with us.  I was having such a blast, I didn't even realize how much running, jumping, ducking, squatting,  hiding, falling :), sliding down slides I was doing,  until I woke up the next...

I found myself coming to my own website today, many times, to read my own post and look through my own pictures. It was a way I kept myself sane.... "remember how wonderful yesterday was? Remember how you told yourself many times too much candy in one day is okay? Remember how you told yourself dragging the kids out of the house at 8:45am and not coming home until 10pm was a fine idea? Remember how you thought YOU could handle it all just fine. Yeah... guess again woman! You were dead wrong. And you're 31 years old, time to wake up to reality and use your brain." I had to keep coming back and looking at the post I did last night, trying to bring back all those gushy, sentimental, "oh, how I love Easter!" feelings. Because today, I'm cursing Easter. Not Jesus' resurrection, but the stupidity we allowed it to become. The candy, the sugar, the chocolate that I'm still finding all over my house, the craziness that we called Easter. Jason and I deci...

Our day was wonderful.  Our time of Worship was awesome.  The time spent with our friends, amazingly fun.  We got home late tonight worn out in a good way, thankful for a great weekend! our church campus(es) met at Qwest Field in Seattle this morning.  There was a total of around 17,500 people and my favorite part, aside from the sermon,  was singing "Come Thou Fount, Nothing But the Blood and All My Tears with  that many voices singing praises to God. It was a beautiful sight and sound.  Ethan was excited that they were handing out free Bibles at the door.  He said its his first "big boy" Bible he's ever had :)  I love how her nose turned red from the cold :)  We brought a jacket for her, but she insisted she was warm.  hunting eggs...   we hid a bunch of easy ones for Kara and she ended up finding all the hard ones :)  Ferguson & Arnold kids:  Rachel, Kara, Cambria, Ethan, Payton, Ian and Owen the p...

This is one of my favorite weekends out of the whole year!  Last year we were able to attend our church's Good Friday service {speaking of which, why don't all churches do those?} and I was so incredibly blessed by it. I remember loving the way it prepared me for Resurrection Sunday. I loved how sober and quiet and very dark it was. I mean literally dark, not dark as in a mood. The lights were very dimmed and the realization of what this day meant for Jesus's family and followers those 2+ thousand years ago - I just remember sitting there in my seat thinking how sad it was that the years before were spent with us just ignoring this amazing day in history. I know its not the "actual" day Jesus suffered, was tortured, bled and died on a cross to save ME from the pit of Hell. To give ME the free offer of His mercy and grace and to do what I could never and would never do.  What a day! The kids and I talked a lot about this today. It was weighing very heavily on Eth...

My good friend Gina {in California} sent us this link  tonight, with a very special gift waiting for us when we got there. I had no idea what it was as I clicked on it and was over taken by emotions --  good emotions, when I saw it. What a sweet tribute to our son. What a special way to remember his life! We feel so blessed by our family and friends who have honored us and our baby by acknowledging that his life was important. His life counted. He will always be a part of our family, no matter how short his life was. God has blessed us and comforted us so much through you all. If you go to the link I gave you can see the full tribute. We wanted to share Micah's picture in the sand here, so you could all see.  And we wanted to publicly thank our friends John & Gina for their love and kindness to us.  We love you guys! 

I am thankful.  For many reasons, not just one.  Mostly thankful because I'm so glad I have God to lead me through life.  To walk beside me and guide me, protect and completely love me.  I can't imagine life without Him {so cliche, but SO the way I feel}  Its not that I can't imagine life without Him... its that I know I can't live life without Him.  He is my life.  When I begin to worry or try to control, I remember who controls the waves of the see.  Who keeps the sun from coming too close to us.  Who lines the planets in perfect order.  Who keeps the blood in my heart pumping perfectly, to keep me alive.  Who formed the heavens and who keeps the moon and sun from colliding.  I'd make a mess of those things.  I get overwhelmed with meal planning and grocery lists!  I'm thankful for our home.  thankful for our car.  thankful for my Bible.  thankful for our church; for the solid, good, God-centered ...

Look what was on  clearance  at Target!!  The girls and I have been eying this kitchen for such a long time. I think ever since Kara was born,  Rachel's been checking it out, waiting for the price to drop.  It was reduced around Christmas time, but we had already bought her a Christmas gift, so I told  her to wait and it would go on sale again. This time it was even cheaper!  It pays to wait - no pun intended ;-)  The girls have already spent many hours playing with this kitchen.  Jason and I get a kick out of hearing them talk about what they're making.  The other day Kara said "Rache, we need more coconut flowers."  and Rachel laughed and said "Kara, Mommy doesn't use coconut flowers, its just called flour.  Its what you use to make cake. Coconut flowers grow in the jungle I think." :)  They've been hosting many pretend birthday parties and catering for  some pretty fancy imaginary weddings.  Rachel ha...